The Coffeee Code
by bellevivre
Summary: Written for the Live Journal Criminal Prompt community's March Challenge: Coffee. M just in case.


A/N: AUish, timeline wise. Written for the LJ Community Criminal_Prompt's March prompt, Coffee. I own nothing… humbug.

* * *

Life had become difficult for our lovers.

Instead of being a free-wheeling regular Agent, Morgan had been essentially forced to take over management of the BAU. That meant not only more responsibility, longer hours, but an enforced persona change. He could no longer flirt shamelessly with his favorite blonde. Now they both lamented the fact that they hadn't yet gone public with their relationship. Penelope had to maintain a cover of dating Kevin Lynch, a friendly but most definitely gay analyst, and Derek had to maintain a wall between them at all times.

The only opportunities they had to be together were on the weekend, at one of Derek's rental properties.

"I don't know how much longer I can handle not flirting with you, hot stuff." Penelope snuggled down into his arms. "I hate it… it's not normal."

He pulled the blanket higher over her bare shoulder, laying kisses to her neck and cheek. "I know baby, but, it won't last forever… I don't want this… I want to be the badass in the field-"

She pushed away from him, a mock glare on her face. "You know, maybe this _is_ better. Management can't go off in an ambulance full of explosives, for example…"

"Ouch! Woman, am I still apologizing for that?"

She smirked, "Maybe just a little." She kissed him, hard. "That was still a _stupid_ thing to do!"

He pulled her beneath him, "Yeah, but it got us here, so, quit your whining, hardhead."

She laughed up at him, arching into his caress. He rained kisses on her face, her neck, her chest, before slowly sliding into her. The conversation was abandoned in favor for more intimate noises.

* * *

Hours later, they sat watching the sunset from the small deck in the back of the house. Penelope had been pensive, and Derek could only wait to find out what marvelous, potentially debauched, idea she was mulling.

"Ah-ha!" Penelope jumped up and grabbed Derek's hand. "Ah-ha what, gorgeous?"

"I figured out how we can still flirt and be sweet to each other at work and never even stir a bit of suspicion…"

"You have a wicked mind, and I like it…" He pulled her into his lap. "What's the plan?"

"Coffee."

"Coffee?" Derek stared at her in confusion. "Baby girl, you're gonna have to explain… your man isn't as all seeing as you are…"

"Derek, what does everyone drink?"

"Um, coffee, I guess?

"And if you called, and I answered as the goddess of hot coffee?"

"I'd think you were really digging your morning joe…"

She rolled her eyes. "Derek, hot stuff, coffee equals sex."

"Oh…so, if I asked you if you wanted some coffee…"

She laughed. "And I said only if it was hot and strong…"

"Now I get you… oh this could be good."

* * *

The next week, the team went out on a case. It was the perfect opportunity to practice the new code.

"Hey Garcia, can you run some license numbers for me?"

"Yeah, let me just finish up this instant coffee and I'll have it right to you…"

"Okay, I'm emailing them to you now. Enjoy your coffee, but don't spill…"

"Agent Morgan, I would never let a single drop fall on my babies."

"I'm sure you wouldn't. Bye."

Morgan hung up, then pressed the button in his pocket. Not for the first time did he send a secret thanks to the unnamed genius who invented the wireless, long distance remote control vibrator. Right now, he knew the tiny, pill sized device was nestled against the bundle of nerves at the apex of Penelope's core. He could imagine her shivering as he randomly pressed the button, reminding her constantly of his affection.

400 miles away, Penelope was enjoying Derek's hidden messages. Instant coffee was their code for any activity with toys. She was close, after an entire morning of random buzzes, and she knew if she called Derek back with his search results now, he'd hit the wicked button to push her over the edge while he could listen. It was a dangerous prospect, but too damn exciting to pass up. She dialed the number.

"Morgan"

"Yeah, sent the search results to your phone."

He smirked. "How's your coffee?" He pressed the button, holding it down. He could hear the whimpers as she desperately tried to smother the moans being ripped from her.

"Nearly finished, Morgan." She was panting, aching for release.

"Finish it now." He pressed the button in short bursts, trying to hide the smile when he heard the whine in her smothered whimpers, knowing he just pushed her over the edge from 5 states away. She sighed. "All finished."

"Good girl. Thanks Garcia…"

"Mmm… very welcome."

* * *

_Two weeks later_

"Penelope Garcia, Goddess of Business and Coffee…"

"Garcia, what's with the coffee?" JJ had overheard her recent coffee-centric conversations with Morgan and was utterly confused. Garcia paused, then squeaked out. "Can't a girl just like her coffee?"

"Garcia… spill, now."

"JJ, I can't. Just… it's necessary, and fun, and…" She smiled. "And ask Morgan." Penelope knew that if anyone could be trusted with their secret, it was JJ.

JJ turned and stared at the tall dark man. "Um, ok… but hey, I need you to track down natural abortifacients that grow in the Waxahachie area…"

"I'm on it!" She hung up quickly before JJ had the opportunity to question her further.

"Hey Morgan!" JJ shouted across the crowded police office.

"Yeah?"

"Garcia says I should ask you to explain coffee…" If the man could blush, he would have, right then. Luckily, Reid piped up with the entire history of coffee and Derek snuck away.

Later that night, in his hotel room, he sat on the phone with Penelope. They used the ground line to his hotel room and her home phone line; they didn't want to take the risk of any intimate conversation on official FBI lines.

"Baby girl, why did JJ ask me about coffee today?" She laughed. "You know I'm a terrible liar, my chocolate creamcicle… I figured you can dissemble better than I can." He sighed, knowing she was right.

"But why did she ask in the first place?"

"I dunno, maybe because you can't talk to me without asking about my coffee pot?"

"Yeah, well, you keep going on about how much you like cream in your coffee, so, you're just as bad as I am!"

"Oh my love, what are we going to do?" She sighed dejectedly.

"I know baby… the coffee code is fun, but it just… it's not the same." He lay back on the bed. "Maybe… maybe we ought to suck it up and talk to Strauss?"

"Derek that woman hates me. She probably thinks I'm the village bicycle."

"Woman, no one thinks that about you!" He sat up, defensive.

"No, I know, but dragon lady doesn't know that…"

"Baby, I'm going to grow some balls and talk to her. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?"

"I don't like you talking about your delicious coffee beans and dragon lady in the same sentence…"

"You know we don't have to use the code right now…"

She smiled. "I know, but they _are_ delicious!"

"Only to you, sweetness…"

"You're damn skippy! No one else better be tasting my coffee!"

"Woman, go to sleep. I'm talking to Strauss when we get back, too."

"If you must… I guess they can't kill us for being together, right? Only fire us…" She sighed again, then softly wished him goodnight.

* * *

The moment the team returned to Quantico, Derek made his way to Strauss's office. He had called to set up an appointment with her the moment they had a firm arrival time.

"Agent Morgan, please, sit down."

"Ma'am, I need to discuss-"

"I know exactly what you need to discuss, Morgan, and I must say that I am disappointed, highly disappointed, that you haven't mustered the nerve to bring your fraternization with Tech Analyst Garcia to me for review well before this."

"Ma'am, I-"

"I frankly don't care what excuse you want to offer. This has obviously been going on for years, and that's proof enough to me that the two of you can function well in the office. I appreciate the increased professionalism, but honestly, the less I hear about the BAU the happier my day will be."

"Ma'am-"

"I'm done, Morgan. I don't appreciate you forcing my hand, but you had better not make me regret this leniency. Now go."

Morgan stood, agape. "Um, well, thank you, ma'am." He walked quickly, trying not to run, down to the BAU bullpen. He saw Penelope across the room and strode purposefully towards her, wrapping her in a bone-cracking hug before kissing her soundly in the full view of the whole team.

"Hey baby girl- wanna go get some coffee?"

She smiled hugely at him. "Yep… hot and strong with _lots_ of cream…"


End file.
